It's getting nearer and nearer!

The wedding day, that is!
Wedding preparation is fun but undeniably exhausting and confusing. I have more or less 4 months to prepare to the big day but I'm farrrrr from being done. 4 months may seem like ages for some but definitely not for the bride(s)-to-be.
According to the bride's monthly planner (yes, benda ni wujud), I should've sent the materials for both wedding outfits (solemnization and reception) a month ago so that I will have ample of time to do fitting and alterations. Thing is, thanks for the bridal magazines, websites, blogs and even to my usual fickle self, I can't even decide on the design of the dress I'm going to wear, let alone the designer who is going to make it for me!
I have shortlisted the designers and came down to 3 people (plus one)..

1) Syomir Izwa - A new, up an coming designer. Loved his previous designs for other brides. But heard a lot of not-so-nice stories about his "professionalism". Met the guy the other day and I think he's really nice and creative. Should I take the risk? He is offering a good deal, which includes the veil and shoes!

2) Rizman Ruzaini - Super creative duo. They are known for their super heavy beading designs but I am looking for something more laid back, something flowy for the reception. I'm just tempted to ask them to design and make my baju nikah..

3) Nas - He told me he is venturing in bridal outfits now. He is memang known for those awesome wedding dais and decorations but as for baju baju...I really don't know since I have not seen any of his work...but from the ones that he sketched for me, it seems really really nice. How???

4) My usual baju raya tailor, Weng Kong. I'll design a simple baju kurung/kebaya sendiri and have her do the tailoring and beading. And for the reception, I'll rent it from a bridal house. Habis cerita. Kan?

I'm having headache and my ears are buzzing just thinking about this. However, I don't think my progress for this wedding is that bad actually. At least I have got the major things out of the way, like the place for the solemnization and reception. Other things which already settled include
- Make up artists
- Bridesmaids, and their outfits
- Decorator + hantaran
- List of hantaran (Semua pun belum beli. List sahaja yang ada)
- Guest list (But still needs a lot of editing)
- Favors
- Invitation cards (Proof read it and already on it's way for printing the last time I check).
- Photographer and videographer
- Pre-wedding photographer (non other than my bestfriend, Azlan Malek)

Luckily I'm only going to have one reception instead of the usual two. Definitely think it'll be fun-er but don't think I can handle the pressure on top of the ones I'm already getting from work.
The only one thing I know I don't have to think about is the honeymoon. I let that be Mr. Fiancee's problem and headache to figure out the best place for us to relax post wedding. =)

3 Months

Wow. It has been that long since I last updated this blog. Dah berhabuk and bersawang dah. Work and wedding preparations took most of my time these past few months.
Anyway, my last post was about my dad's operation right? Well, post operation was pretty much uneventful. He recovered rather quickly, the wound healed nicely and was up and about after a few weeks. He did not complain of pain or anything after the operation. He had an appointment a month after the operation, which was in December whereby he need to repeat his CT scan. This CT will show if there's any late complications or fractures to the stents (he had 5 altogether).
I myself sent my dad to the CT scan room and get the CT reported by the radiologist before his appointment with the surgeon. After 2 days, they called me saying that the report was ready and I picked it up at the radiology department and headed straight to the surgical clinic. On the way there, I read the report and I was so shocked to learn that there is a leak! They did not specify which type of leak it was, so I handed the CT to the surgeons and they told me that it was a type 3 leak, meaning we have to put in under GA again to reposition the stent.
Since HKL is always full and the OT list is super full, we couldn't find a space for my dad 2nd operation until February. We tried to push for those days where we have longer OT time but it just couldn't be done. Basically, my dad had to wait for a month with a leaking AAA stent =S. Luckily the flow of the leak was not high when they did the ultrasound scan, so it is kinda reassuring that it can be delayed.
On the 11th of February, he underwent angiogram KIV for another stent in case they couldn't secure the leak. He was in the OT for 2 hours. I went in to the OT after he was done and saw all my bosses there. The head of department saw me (he was the one leading the operation) and he told me that when they went in, they couldn't find any leak at all. The stents were already secured and angiogram, being the gold standard investigation for a leak, trumps the CT scan findings. Probably the leak was sealed off by my dad's own body defense mechanism. I wouldn't say that he went in for nothing but rather, he went in and confirms that there is no leak and there is absolutely nothing wrong with his previous operation.
Currently, he is already playing golf again and running around the house playing with his cucu-s. =)
Alhamdulillah.

Now I Know How It Feels Like To Be On The Other Side

Back in 2006, when I was still in my 2nd year of medical school, my dad had an episode of NSTEMI (heart attack) and he was hospitalized in PPUM for a week. There, he was also diagnosed with 8cm abdominal aortic aneurysm (aka triple A). Doctors tried to convince him that it was very very dangerous and he needs operation ASAP but my dad, being the hard-headed person, refused any treatment and defaulted all follow ups. I, being the daughter, and also a medical personnel, knows the urgency and the catastrophic event that can result from his illness and I have been "bugging" him to get something done but he continued to refuse treatment.
One bad thing about triple A is that there is absolutely no pain and symptoms. Patient would feel absolutely nothing and comfortable regardless the size. My dad thought that he was ok and actually believed that the aneurysm can actually shrink within time. I have no idea where he got that concept, no from me absolutely.

Picture showing aneurysm. My dad's aneurysm was 10 cm. Yes, you read it right...TEN blardy CM!

After a few years of nagging, my dad eventually succumbed to it. He finally agrees to go for a check up last month. It just so happens that currently I am in a vascular unit in surgical department, and I called up one of the consultant surgeon and referred my dad to him.
My dad went for a check up in his clinic straight away he ordered my dad to be admitted the very next day for further investigations and pre-op assessment. He was in ward 14 (surgical ward HKL) for a few days and CT scans, lung function test, ECHO, etc were done. Everything looks prefect and he seemed fine to undergo a major surgery. His aneurysm has expanded 2 cm since the last time he checked and currently at 10cm. According to my consultants, my dad is a rare case which at 10cm, his aneurysm hasn't actually leaked or ruptured.
Mr Naresh (the consultant surgeon), talked to my dad and the rest of the family about the urgency of his operation and what would happened if he does not go for surgery. I myself saw the CT scan and i was shocked (and I cried) when I saw how thin his aortic wall was. It was super thin that i believe it can rupture just about anytime.
The surgeons then referred my dad to Hospital Serdang for further evaluation of his heart since he has a history of IHD. The cardiologists did an angiogram for him there. Initially they wanted to do angioplasty for him but when they saw the angiogram, they told me that he needs a bypass (CABG) and can't perform any angioplasty for him since he has 3 vessel disease and his LAD is already 90% blocked. At that point, I was praying so hard that my dad won't have to do an open surgery because I know his heart could not take the stress during the operation since they need to clamp the aorta if they go for open surgery to repair the aneurysm.
After much discussions among the specialists and surgeons from HKL, Hospital Serdang, and IJN, they have decided that they have to do the aneurysm repair (EVAR) first since it is semi-emergency and CABG post EVAR. Bare in mind that it was a super major surgery. The complications during operation includes MI, aneurysm rupture, conversion from EVAR to open surgery (which my dad can't take it), DVT, acute limb ischaemia,, and stroke.
My sister came back from the USA to give my dad and the rest of the family moral support. The operation really hit my family hard. All of us including my extended family were worried sick, we cried, and we all really did pray hard for him.
On 27th of October, they went in to the OT. The surgeons cleared up the whole day and concentrated on my dad's case alone. There was no other OT that was on. Mr Zainal, the head of department, happens to know the pioneer of EVAR and he called him up to scrub in together with the team. In a way, that gave a boost of confidence and a relieve for us..not that we didn't trust our own surgeons (they are the best in Malaysia...all aneurysm cases from this country will be referred to the vascular team in HKL) but it was kind of a comfort to know that the pioneer himself was there.
The operation went smoothly at first. They started at 9.30am and finished at 12pm. I was informed by the OT staff nurse that my dad is well and will be transferred to ICU shortly. I was waiting outside of the OT with my mom and sisters and after half an hour, still no one came out from the OT and no sign of my dad.
The staff nurse came out again and told me the news I dreaded for. There was a complication. The surgeons are opening him up again and doing emergency embolectomy since they couldn't find any pulse over his lower limb and on table angiogram showed there was a block over his popliteal vein. I stood there for a minute, stunned. I went back out and break the bad news to the whole family. We went back to his room in ward 14 to wait and started to recite prayers and yassin for his well being.
From 12 noon until 4.30pm I was walking back and forth from OT to ward 14 to OT just to check if they have finished with my dad's operation. I waited in front of patient's waiting bay since I was not allowed in. I only got a few updates from Faizal, the houseman who scrubbed in (unofficially my eyes and ears in OT that day).
At about 4.45pm, my dad was wheeled out and transferred to GICU. After they have attached all the equipments and machines onto my dad and anaest doctors did the post-op review, we were allowed to go in. He was on ventimask by that time and already extubated. My sister woke my dad up by telling him the time but he was still drowsy from all the anaesthetic given.

Diagram showing the simplified version of EVAR that was done for my father.

He was in GICU for a day and transferred to general ward (MY WARD!) for close monitoring (but not as close as in GICU).
It was awkward and a bit weird for me and my colleages to have my dad around as our patient, especially in acute cubicle. By the time he was in general ward, he was already being himself. The talkative, whiny, and funny self.
On the 3rd day post-op, he was transferred back to his room ward 14 as he does not need close monitoring anymore but just 4-6 hour monitoring of his vitals.
On Friday, 4 days after his major operation, the team decided that he is strong and well enough to go home. Mr Naresh briefed me about what to expect once my dad goes home and what he should and shouldnt do, which includes no golfing for 2 months.
As of today, it has been exactly a week and my father has been doing extremely well, Alhamdulillah. He is already up and about, tolerating orally well, fever just settled, and complaining every second that he wants to go for putting and golfing. It was another miracle that he recovered this quick. I guess because of his pre-morbid condition prior to the operation was good (NYHA Class I with EF of 51%..!!) helped the short recovery period.
Whatever it is, I'm so glad to have my dad back and relieved to know that he will be there for my wedding day and to be my wali for my akad next year, insyaAllah.
For those of you who prayed, called, texted, visited, on behalf of my family, THANK YOU very very much. God bless.



**My dad told me when my sister Farah woke him up after his operation to tell him that it was already 5pm, in his head he was thinking "Crap! 5 more holes to go!" - he was playing golf during the whole operation! Morphine and Fentanyl can really do wonders.

***I'm sorry cause there's so many medical jargons. It's difficult for me to explain every single thing but I've tried to make it easier to understand by linking some of the words to the Wikipedia page...sorry..=)

ZaHash

On Diwali (last weekend) , Zaza, one of my closest friends, got engaged to her "newly-found-but-long-time" love of her life. You have to know the story behind these two lovebirds to understand why I said that..hehe..let Zaza herself tell you the story..=)
All of us were supposed to wear pastel green but I think there was a whole spectrum of green that day..I thought I got the right "green" but now after seeing others, don't even know what kind of green I wore that day...hehe..

Anyway, I'm so so so happy for these two! Zez looked amazingly gorgeous that day and Hashley pun tak kurang handsomenya dengan senyuman sampai telinga..hehe.

Congratulations both of you! And welcome to the club! Can't wait for the BIG DAY next year!!! Weeeehoooo!!
Love,
Both of us.

A Do-Over

So I've been neglecting this sad blog for quite some time now. Didn't mean to be all quiet but it is just that I don't have the time to update this blog on a regular basis now that I'm working (like a dog, I might add).
Tons of things had taken place these past few months but the highlights are these 3 events...
Brace your self for a bumper issue! =)


1) ENGAGEMENT
A bit of a recap here, on the 5th of April this year, RIGHT after my final professional exam, Adan's parents came over to my house to meet up with my parents for merisik. The discussion was just between the parents, (also with the grandmother)...and after the discussion, I was called to come down (chewahhh) and his mother gave me the ring (cincin tanda). Just like the old Malay tradition. =)

I was tad too excited tak leh cover..hehe

The big rombongan came on Sunday, 9th of August and I got engaged to that awesome man whom I love love love. It was sweet and rather simple ceremony. Just his side of family, my family and our closest cousins and friends. It took us about one month to prepare for the event, except for my baju tunang which I sent it to the tailor 4 months prior. And since a lot of people have been asking, my make up was by Nurin and the photos were taken by Ariff Aris. I would recommend them anytime. =)
How he proposed? Owh well..it's something too personal that I think I would just keep it between the two of us.. ;) Dah kena mula practice "rahsia rumahtangga" haha..=p
Alhamdulillah everything went on smoothly that day...hope those who came had fun and went home with a full and happy tummy =)

Baba at the door welcoming the rombongan

Taken by: Ariff Aris

The dulang boys
Taken by: One of my BGFFs


The dulang girls
Taken by: Ariff Aris


The BIG discussion
Taken by: Ariff Aris

The kekecohan dan ke-nervous-an in my room
Taken by: One of my girls

The Rings.
Proximally - Cincin Merisik
Distally - Cincin Tunang
Taken by: Ariff Aris

First step towards forever
Taken by: Ariff Aris

After everyone left.
Taken by: Azlan Malek

2) BIRTHDAY
Had our annual August babies celebration on 7th of August and this time around the girls (and boys) organized a bbq at Hashley's house. I had tons and tons of delish lamb, sausages, mashed potatoes, and apple cumble (homemade...by Zaza pls!). Sadly, I had to leave my own party early since I was post call and have got to work the next day (booo! party pooper gile).
Thank you again semua orang! =) xoxo.

Birthday Happy
The yummy birthday puffs sponsored by Rashida =)

Candle blowing

The usual suspects

The birthday girls

3) GRADUATION
Took place on the 15th of August 2009.
Yes, there was an entry already about my convocation but that one was MINI convo. I guess the faculty knows how hard those 5 years as a medical student were , they felt that we deserve 2 convocations! Hehe...
That day was great..my parents and that brand-new fiancee were there to witness me going up on that stage (sisters couldn't make it as the elder one had some in-laws event, and the other is obviously in the States). It was nice to see and catch up with my batchmates there...all are now doctors in hospitals scattered all over Malaysia.
There was a certain feeling that just can't be described when I received that scroll, certain satisfaction. It was just awesome.
Took tons and tons of photos at the Dataran in front of DTC, and went to the studio to take some studio pictures after that. Tasha, Mel and Shida came over to my house later in the evening and surprised me with a beaaauutiful bouquet of roses =) Thanx lovelies!

Me, with those beautiful flowers from him.

We did it!

With my ex-housies, Dr Diana and Dr Saadah

Mr Fiancee, Mama and Baba

Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) Class of 2004/2009

I know each of these events deserve their own entry looking at how huge and important they are but hey, this will have to do for now. The most important thing is that I know how precious those moments were and will hold every second of it close and dear to my heart .

There goes the 1st month

I've been on call 3 times this week and I've never felt so over-worked like this before. Imagine if u have to work for 40 hours every other day and you can't afford to make a single mistake. Not even a small one. Don't get me wrong..I'm not complaining...I mean, it is tiring to work as a houseman, but it is true what they say...there is a certain feeling of satisfaction that just can't be explained.
I'm on call again tonight but fortunately I managed to get half day off; meaning I will only be in the ward at 5pm today til 12pm tomorrow instead of 6am today until 6pm tomorrow. So far all my calls has been ok...nothing too scary ever occurred yet..just one death but it was a DIL and NAR case. But then again, maybe it has been ok because coincidently those 3 calls I had were with Dr. E as the MO on call, thus tak takut kena marah if call banyak kali mintak tolong manage acute patients. Since he won't be around for the next 3 weeks, I'm just hoping that tonight's MO on call will be just as cincai as he is.
Btw, I just bought an ipod touch for myself so that I've got something to watch/listen to and surf the net while on passive call nights instead of chitchatting and gossiping with the nurses yang sensitive maximum. Why ipod touch and not iphone u ask? Because I'm the world poorest doctor...tak pernah dapat gaji lagi! Ipod touch is so much cheaper as compared to iphone...kan? =)
Actually I have got so many things going on right now. Great things (Alhamdulillah)..and I'm so tempted to tell it all here but then again, tunggu lah ya..nanti akan saya ceritakan.

Post call entry

Last night was my first time to be "on call" as a houseman. I was a nervouswreck during the day, not knowing what to expect since it was the ward's active day and usually on those days we'd be very very busy with new admissions. Plus, I'll be the only doctor in the ward with the other 4 nurses. Fortunately for me, the MO on call with me was the super nice Dr. E. Dr. E knew that I'm a first poster and first time being on call so he pretty much spent a longer time in Ward 26 compared to the other wards. He stayed until 2am to monitor the acute beds. Soooo nice of him, ok. Usually MOs will only come after dinner at about 830pm and won't come back/stay in the ward unless there's emergency. Thank you, God for giving a great boss...hehe...
Anyway, it was (again, thank you, God) an uneventful night. Only 4 new admissions and just one emergency case (the patient's BP dropped to 50/30mmHg regardless the 2 pints of gelafundin I ordered!). The rest of those 50 patients behaved well last night...no funny funny vital signs or collapsed patients =)
I was doubting myself about working 40 hours straight before this...never in a million years I would've thought I could actually do it. My daya ketahanan is not that bad after all, huh? Hehe..My next call will be this Sunday! =(

I love Ward 26

Tomorrow would be my 5th day in HKL. So far so good. I am still very dizzy and berjalan-jalan di awang awangan...working as a doctor is definitely different from being a medical student. Your patients are YOUR patients. You are in charge and everything has to be at your fingertips. Lucky for me, I've been placed to a ward which is well known for it's super nice Consultant, Specialists, MOs, and nurses. Thank God also for the other amazingly awesome HOs - Dr. K, Dr. S, Dr. S and Dr. U who tirelessly answer all my doubts and confusions...I'm slowly but surely (or so I think) adapting to the working life.
Ask me again in a week's time and we shall see what I have to say. =) Maybe I'll say something different since I'll start to be on-calls by then.

Alive and kickin'

I've been away from home for the past 3 weeks for BTN and Induction as mention previously. I was reluctant and nervous since from what I heard, BTN is so rigid and strict with their rules, military like, and a programme to brainwash you to love the government. To my surprise, it was nothing like that! It was actually really fun. I was placed in some isolated place in Maran, Pahang along with another 100 medical graduates. Sure, we have to wake up as early as 5am, sleep in dorms, share one big toilet, march every morning, and even wear uniforms but we were also fed 6 times a day, eat like a horse, great food, and they were not as strict as some people said. We had discussions about the country, politics, etc and the great thing was, our facilitators were not just some government servants but most of them are diplomats. With their experience and ability to make us discuss and see things from different angles, I think most, if not all of us now understand better about our history (I learn more here than in secondary school), the racial issues (heavy stuff, man), and about the nation as a whole. Bagus sekali.
Induction was held in Mayangsari Resort, Port Dickson for 2 weeks. It was ok. Lectures 4 times a day, eat 5 times a day, swimming, walk along the (not so dirty) beach, sunsets, etc. Pretty much a paid vacation sponsored by KKM...=)
Anyway, as many of you might have heard, the goverment has placed me in Hospital Kuala Lumpur for the next 2 years to do my housemanship. I did not apply for HKL but alhamdulillah I got somewhere near my home, my family and my friends. I am excited to start working but at the same time I am nervous and pretty damn scared. HKL is known for centre of excellence, centre for refferals, centre of no parking, centre of everything lah. I don't know what to expect... but I do know that I'll be extremely busy, I'll be yelled at by my bosses and also nurses, and I'll be losing weight (this is a plus point la actually).
Am I ready? I don't know. Let's find out tomorrow as tomorrow morning I'll be reporting for duty in HKL.

It is not because my bum is getting bigger.

I've changed my mind. I'm going to the induction afterall...the letter arrived yesterday and after heavy and loooong discussion with my parents, and also numerous phone calls to discuss about this with my friends (or rather, colleagues now), I've decided to end my holiday next week. The pros definitely, tremendously outweight the cons of going.
I've been sent to Maran, Pahang for BTN..that will be from 4th til 8th of May and will then go to Mayang Sari Resort in Port Dickson for the next 2 weeks for the Induction Course. They gave me a whole lot of list of things to bring and most of them ends up in my "things to buy" list. I now need white baju kurung, a few track bottoms (I need to get the one that makes a lot of noise...the one that makes "whoosh whoosh" noise when you walk because it is essentially water resistant), long sleeves t-shirts, black covered shoes and a few other things.
I have 3 more days left and tons of things to do.
Let's not call it a holiday anymore.